There has to be some word to describe the feeling of desperation for wanting a British accent. I'd likely change my name to Jamie or Noel as well. Nikes, check. Nike hat, check.
Wait, am I describing that I want to be a chav? Perhaps I'm in a bit to deep on this British fantasy. I don't know the proper lingo.
"Ey, mate. What's cooking?"
I'm done trying. Fuck this shit.